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’ He was right. Whilst he sent the boy for a cab, I wrote a brief note to give to my landlady when I got home, for I knew that by then I should be in no condition to explain. The Hansom cab took me quickly to my lodgings. Blinded by the light I staggered up the steps, thrust the note into the hands of the girl, and tottered the few steps to sit on the stairs. A minute or two later, willing hands led me to my darkened bedroom, and I collapsed onto the bed. I must have slept for several hours, and woke with the nausea somewhat abated, but the headache still intense. I forced myself to undress and put on my nightshirt. I have often noticed before in similar attacks, that these headaches were accompanied by a throbbing stiffening of my virile member (vulgarly my prick). This is the torture of Tantalus, since I could not relieve it without moving my head and driving red-hot spikes of pain through my forehead. As I lay there, giving way to unaccustomed self-pity, Miss Mabel slid into the. I debated for a few moments and frowned as I heard my wife's laughter and giggling from behind the door. Finally I chose the bathroom over the pounding and went in to relieve myself. After a very long piss, I wandered back into the hallway and began my assault on the door. I pounded loudly and yelled, "Let me in!" My Parisian comedian friend called out, "Iz dat room service? We want champagne!" And then laughter from both of them. Fucker. Bitch. Now I was really grumpy. I pounded some more so my wife finally came to the door and said through the closed door, "Go take a nap on the couch. We'll talk later." I was speechless. And tired. And drunk. I raised my fist to pound again, then stopped. I pressed my ear against the door. Things had gotten quiet on their side. There was some murmuring and some other sounds, but I was having a hard time concentrating, so I said, "Fuck it", stumbled back to the couch and fell into it, fully intending to come up with really smart things to say and do.
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